Author Archives: Betska

Looking back, John F. Kennedy was probably one of the most advanced leaders in our global history.

Listening again to his “Commencement Address at American University in Washington,” June 10, 1963. I am struck by his deep insights into global issues and what we as leaders could do to create a better world.

Kennedy’s now famous speech is on “World Peace” which he described as “the most important topic on earth”.

Let’s study some excerpts from his address:

“What kind of peace do I mean? What kind of peace do we seek? Not a Pax Americana enforced on the world by American weapons of war. Not the peace of the grave or the security of the slave. I am talking about genuine peace, the kind of peace that makes life on earth worth living, the kind that enables men and nations to grow and to hope and to build a better life for their children–not merely peace for Americans but peace for all men and women–not merely peace in our time but peace for all time.”

“Some say that it is useless to speak of world peace or world law or world disarmament-and that it will be useless until the leaders of the Soviet Union adopt a more enlightened attitude… But I also believe that we must re-examine our own attitude–as individuals and as a Nation–for our attitude is as essential as theirs. And every … thoughtful citizen who despairs of war and wishes to bring peace, should begin by looking inward–by examining his own attitude toward the possibilities of peace, toward the Soviet Union, toward the course of the cold war and toward freedom and peace here at home.”

“Our problems are man made–therefore, they can be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings. Man’s reason and spirit have often solved the seemingly unsolvable–and we believe they can do it again.”

“World peace, like community peace, does not require that each man love his neighbor–it requires only that they live together in mutual tolerance, submitting their disputes to a just and peaceful settlement.”

 “… a warning to the American people not to fall into the same trap as the Soviets, not to see only a distorted and desperate view of the other side, not to see conflict as inevitable, accommodation as impossible, and communication as nothing more than an exchange of threats.”

To me, the important messages jumping off the page are “peace for all time”, “every thoughtful citizen should begin by looking inward – by examining his own attitude”, “no problem of human destiny is beyond human beings”, “World peace … requires … submitting their disputes to a just and peaceful settlement”, and very common on the world stage is “communication as nothing more than an exchange of threats”.

I remember my first Life Coach, Jan Sweeney, being very pointed with me when she said, “Betska, if you really want to help the world you must first heal your own negative beliefs … all that sabotage that is going on inside of you.”  Taking her statement to heart, I worked tirelessly (and still do) to change my negative beliefs, my prejudices (OMG I had a lot!) and sabotaging actions by understanding The Universal Law of Belief, ‘What you think, you become.”

Where do we find war today other than between countries and for religious ideology? Well, we have wars going on at home between spouses and wars between parents and children and so on.  At work, we have wars right at the top in the executive suite usually based on ego, desire for selfless power and lack of trust.  At work we also have wars between managers and their direct reports and between departments.

Many of you have read this now famous story in my latest book, The “God” in Coaching – The Key to a Happy Life.  I remember complaining to Jan about my husband John – that he was a lousy communicator.  Well, Jan gently pointed out to me that the Universal Law of the Mirror was at play here.  In other words, the characteristic I saw in my husband which generated negative emotions within me, was also in me.  Of course, I resisted looking at myself as I declared, “I am not a lousy communicator. Heaven’s no!”  Hah!  The truth is that I was, once I admitted it to myself.  When John came home from work that evening I sat down on the couch with him and apologized for being in judgment of him all those years – for blaming him when I really should have thanked him for the gift of helping me see my true self.

Whether it is at home, at work or on a more universal front, as stated by Mr. Kennedy, we often resort to using communication as a means to exchange threats instead of choosing to listen, understand and lovingly communicate with each other.

Listening to Ourselves – can we hear our intuition?

As most of you know, I am a great believer in being ‘in the silence’ for at least 30 minutes per day.  My often frantic Executive Coaching Clients run from meeting to meeting and from work to soccer or cricket field without taking a breath.  Baba Ram Dass has some wise words for us.

“Inner peace brings world peace” is another one of my favorite sayings.  Before we can achieve world peace, we must find inner peace.  Peaceful people don’t go to war. (Tweet this)

The more we can go inside and listen to our real selves, the more peaceful we will become and then we can bring that peace into our interactions with others.  People can feel it.  Who knows, they may even want some for themselves!  It would save a lot of heart attacks, don’t you think?!

Mr. Kennedy would be proud of us.

 Listening to Others – can you hear what they are really saying?

One of CLI’s coach training students mentioned that at one time he couldn’t listen to others because he always felt they were wrong!  It was appropriate to share with ‘Donald’ that “Listening is the art of physically hearing someone else’s thoughts and opinions, understanding what they’re saying and considering change as a result of it.”

As a leader, in order to create more leaders, his job was to listen to others so that he could discern what support his direct reports needed from him.  Donald left his selfish behavior behind and is now able to more selflessly grow his people.

I don’t know if these facts are true or not but if they are, they are worth considering. I have read that we speak at a rate of 120 to 150 words per minute and think at a rate of 500 to 1000 words per minute. We listen four times faster than we talk. It is no small wonder that we miss a lot of what people say. But there are many barriers to listening:

• Physical fatigue
• Distractions from surroundings as well as from the speaker (dress, mannerisms)
• Emotional hot buttons
• Bias, perceptions, cultural differences
• Daydreaming, internal thoughts

Most of us practice selective listening. We hear what we want to hear. We remember what we want to remember. To confuse things even more, human beings listen at different levels. But this chart below is a marvelous tool for improving our listening skills. Used together, these pointers will develop better listening habits that could last you a lifetime.

HOW TO IMPROVE OUR LISTENING SKILLS

• Listen on all four levels: with our eyes, ears, heart and with undivided attention. Listening with compassionate hearts can be difficult for those taught to not go into the fluffy stuff! .
• Judge the content not the delivery. Nervousness can often affect the delivery.
• Don’t judge the speaker’s content before you understand it.
• Listen for ideas and central themes.
• Practice taking fewer, but more concise, notes.
• Work hard at listening. Show them you’re interested.
• Feedback to people what you think you have just heard.
• Ask questions to ensure full understanding.
• Tune out distractions and be nice! (Don’t answer the phone in the middle of your meeting or keep typing on your computer when someone has entered your office to speak with you. Stop typing and give that person eye contact.)
• Exercise your mind to relate their information to the situation.
• Keep an open mind.
• Capitalize on the fact that thought is faster than speech. Mentally weigh the facts and summarize your thoughts.

“Real Communication works at two levels: head to head and heart to heart.”

How can we put our new improved listening skills to good practice in the workplace?

Here are a few ways to consider:

• Listen well to managers all the way through the organization at meetings and one-on-one;
• Listen to all the employees via suggestion boxes, newsletters, field trips, incentive programs;
• Listen by walking around and talking to people and to customers – ask lots of questions;
• Listen via a third party, have an outside company research the organization on its strengths and weaknesses.

How can we put our new improved listening skills to good practice at home?

Send me an email and share your ideas:  Betska@CoachingAndLeadership.com Here is probably the most important one to consider:

Sincerely and every day, tell our people how much we love them.  Then we can listen intently to what their heart is trying to say to us.

For those of you who wish to learn greater listening skills, learn how to use Mind-Kinetics^® tools in order to coach yourself to get rid of the judgments you have about yourself and others.  (I may be biased because I developed them! lol) When we eliminate those judgments, guess what happens?  Ta da!  We find ourselves in a much better frame of mind and heart space to truly hear what others are saying to us.  It’s magical.

Inner Peace Brings World Peace.  Thank you Mr. Kennedy for stirring our hearts to truly consider peace.  How I long for world peace.  I challenge each of you to work with me to make it happen.

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc

I was coaching a European Executive late last year who told me that while 30 people are supposed to show up for a monthly Senior Management Team meeting, often only 4 people show up.  And, if they do show up, some don’t actively participate in the meeting but busy themselves by taking notes on their iPad’s.  What do you think is happening here?  Perhaps the following thoughts are also going through your head:

• Leader (will call him Joe) is unable to engage his management team in dialogue.
• Leader is unable to engage his team in taking responsibility for decision making.
• Team has lost respect for the Leader (because they don’t show up).
• Team does not trust the Leader and therefore members are afraid to speak.
• Leader’s negative subconscious beliefs are many such as, “I am a lousy communicator and therefore I don’t deserve respect and trust from my team members” and, “I don’t believe in my people”.

So what did The Buddha say about Teamwork?  Buddha said that a Leader must be an exemplary figure, someone we can respect and emulate.  Buddha, like all fully enlightened Teachers, was extraordinary, virtuous and righteous in every thought, word and deed.  He did what he said he would do.  Such integrity and consistency won him the trust of his followers.  With such leadership characteristics, teamwork naturally happens.

These flowers to the right are from my garden. As an avid gardener, I learn a lot from nature. These three different flowers are sharing the same small space. Note how the blue bells are growing in between the yellow buds of this wallflower? And a yellow tulip is also delightfully sharing the same space.  I don’t remember planting them this way; they just showed up this Spring – to my delight. These three plants are harmoniously and happily sharing the same space – not fighting each other, but complimenting each other.

This is how our corporate teams should also function.  By practising team principles, we can harmoniously and happily share the same space.  Instead, as you well know, jealousy, judgment, lack of confidence, hunger for power and ego, among other things, get in the way. Instead of complimenting each other we disperse our energies and fail to accomplish tasks in a cohesive manner.  It is during these moments, we could remember, “Tough times never last, but tough people do.”

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.”
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DEFINITION OF A ‘TEAM’

A team is a group of people in which members assume specialized roles in doing work while maintaining the cohesiveness and morale of the group.

16 CHARACTERISTICS OF AN EFFECTIVE TEAM

 Imagine if Joe embraced and acted on the following characteristics of an effective team …

• Clear understanding of the organization’s Mission, Vision, Goals and the Values needed to achieve the Vision.
• High degree of communication between members.
• Effective decision-making methods.
• High degree of trust between members.
• High level of support between members (no back-stabbing but verbal and spiritual recognition).
• Flexibility in procedures.
• Good balance between productivity as a group and as an individual.
• Good balance between logical and relationship-based behaviours.
• Sensitivity to each other’s feelings.
• Understanding of each other’s strengths and areas of improvement.
• Shared leadership among the members – no one member is more important than the other.
• No cliques or domination by any one member.
• Utilization of each member’s experience and unique resources.
• High degree of cohesiveness.
• Constant evaluation of their progress as a team.
• Members know how to ask tough questions (have taken a coaches training program).

When customers sense poor teamwork, they may take their business elsewhere. And so it’s quite important for Joe to reap the many benefits from team planning:

• improved teamwork
• mutual understanding
• better knowledge of company vision
• issues are addressed
• you see the total business
• improved communications
• puts life into the evaluation process of issues
• improved attitudes
• more fun.

There’s that three letter word again — fun! Teams can be fun and productive at the same time.

TEAM GROUND RULES

There are certain ground rules that need to be followed for effective team planning. If Joe set the ground rules with his leadership team, their achievements would be extraordinary:

• attendance is mandatory to show respect to the team;
• everyone contributes;
• everyone listens and understands (iPads are set aside and full attention is on the team);
• everyone listens with their eyes, ears, heart and with undivided attention;
• conflicts between ideas are welcomed but we need to be nice about it – ego should be in the back garden;
• focus is on achieving a positive result;
• avoid arguing to “win” (the world is full of people who surface think);
• avoid voting, averaging and random choice, think things through;
• use logic and the most recent, relevant information available as well as the heart for balanced decision-making;
• each person takes responsibility by engaging in self development tools in order to strengthen the team’s output;
• leadership training programs are well attended by all in order to understand the components of personal and professional leadership;
• everyone is responsible for the decisions and results.

During Joe’s team planning-sessions, he could use good brainstorming techniques:

• leader ensures everyone is engaged in the discussion;
• no criticism allowed (or they will be asked to leave the room);
• try for quantity and quality ideas;
• combine and improve on each other’s ideas;
• try to be different and creative, be meditative for the highest frequency ideas;
• reach for the new and unfamiliar — be courageous!  Take risks!
• use exaggeration and humour to push ideas beyond familiar limits.

Buddha was a great manager of his teams.  With deep knowledge of human behaviour and enlightened intuition, he knew the strengths and areas of improvement of those around him.  He delegated duties in keeping with the abilities and temperament of each disciple.  Of particular note was how he showed his appreciation by recognizing their efforts.

Let’s celebrate Joe’s imminent success as a Team Leader!

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Creating Champions
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.

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In my latest book, The “God” in Coaching, a personal development book, I declared that I was a rebel!  My entire life I have been the curious cat … driving people crazy with my questions … challenging people to rise up and truly be the best that they can be.

Guess who else was a rebel?  Steve Jobs.  My hero.  As one of the most creative minds of the 20^th and 21^st century, and a brilliant visionary, he forever changed how we think about innovation.  Like me Steve was a vegan.  It seems the vegan diet greatly lengthened his life because I understand he had pancreatic cancer for 30 years.

During one of his speeches, Steve made a provocative statement, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”  Love that quote!

So the question is, as a leader how do we encourage innovation?

I have a firm belief that if a leader creates a family atmosphere in their organization, the employees will feel safe which then creates a playground for creativity – in other words they take risks, think outside of the norm and do their work without fear of reprisal or getting fired and so on.

There are numerous ways to create that playground, to breathe life and fun into the organization, many of which you will find in this chart — 27 Ways to Create a Family Atmosphere for Creative Thinking. For example, it is conceivable that Steve encouraged his employees to also eat vegan because his cafeterias were stocked with vegan foods.  There is no doubt in my mind that a vegan diet helps us be innovative.  Why?  Because we think more clearly. We don’t have the karma from eating flesh and dairy to clog up our cells.  We are not filling out bodies with the animal’s fear. Incidentally, Google employees can also enjoy free vegetarian food every day!

 Customers like doing business with positive people. The key to having positive innovative people in the organization is a Leader who cares.

When you see your staff smiling constantly, when they accomplish their jobs with zest and responsibility and when they go that extra mile to make the organization successful, you know they’re happy.

“When your staff succeeds, so do you.”

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Creating Champions
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.

This is a continuation of Application #2 on Developing and Communicating Goals for Creating Champions in the workplace, part of a series of blog articles with the overall theme of “When your staff succeeds, so do you.”

7 Steps to Planning Your Future

Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook,
is very clear about authentic communication as a Leader.
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Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, opens the hearts of all leaders in her book “Lean In”. I highly recommend this book where Sheryl invites us to dig deeper and self-reflect on what is really important in our organizations. It is a blueprint for personal growth. Watch her Ted Talk which, to date, has garnered close to 5 million views.

Sheryl writes, “Authentic communication is not always easy, but it is the basis for successful relationships at home and real effectiveness at work. Yet people constantly back away from honesty to protect themselves and others. This reticence causes and perpetuates all kinds of problems: uncomfortable issues that never get addressed, resentment that builds, unfit managers who get promoted rather than fired, and on and on. Often these situations don’t improve because no one tells anyone what is really happening. We are so rarely brave enough to tell the truth.”

In these 7 Steps to Planning Your Future, we lay the groundwork for authentic communication. In future blog articles we’ll provide you with more tools with which to bravely communicate and then you teach your employees/colleagues to do the same. Stay tuned!

1. Develop Your Departments Mission, Vision, Goals and Values.
Reference my last blog article on the difference between a Corporate MVGV and a Departmental MVGV.

• Every employee should understand the Mission – what your business is all about.
• Every employee should be able to repeat your Vision statement by heart – because they should all be working towards achieving that vision.
• Every employee should know the top 3 Goals of your organization and have written personal goals on how they can help the organization achieve these three goals.
• Every employee should demonstrate the Values such as Understanding, Acceptance and Faith. If they are not demonstrating them, this should be brought to their attention during their annual performance review.

2. Do A Quick Review of the Past and Present.
• External Analysis – Check out the factors such as political, economic, social, demographic, technological, lifestyle and competitive trends which could affect your business.
• Internal Analysis – Study trends in sales, profits, customer satisfaction. Study the people that work with you. Look at company ethics, pricing, product quality, manufacturing, customer service, market share, opportunities for personal growth of your employees, training and your role in the market place.

3. Think About Future Changes to the Business.
• Based on your external and internal analyses, what possible changes could you plan for? For example, who would have predicted a social media explosion 10 years ago?

4. Where/What Do You Want To Be In One Year? 3 Years? Up To 20 Years?
• Based on the possible future changes, what could be some plausible future alternatives for your business?

5. Draft The Plans To Help You Get There.
• Put your creative hats on – fire up the right side of your brain. Come up with ways in which you can meet your goals. For every objective, there must be plan. From each group assign one person responsible for obtaining results from these plans. They will be the drivers to completing the plan.
• Do The Brain Walk® everyday to help you think like Einstein every day. Now available on the Apple Store. Click here.

6. Sell The Plan.
• Your most important job is to sell all leaders and employees on the Mission, Vision, Goals and Values. Tell them how important they are to the achievement of the Vision. Don’t let them leave the room until you have a feeling of commitment from them. If you don’t have a feeling of commitment, ask some tough questions such as, “What fears are coming up for you right now?” Be prepared for some honest answers. Consider their suggestions.

7. Check Your Progress. Communicate the progress.
• All disciplined managers already check the financial numbers on a regular basis. On a semi-annual basis, take a closer look at your objectives and plans. How close are you to meeting your goals? You may have to be “adding a little there, altering this a bit and that a bit…” all the while, though, you are steadily building.
• Sheryl will thank us when we courageously and bravely tell the truth.

Whatever you do, don’t put the plan on a shelf.
“Don’t lose sight of your goals!”

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Creating Champions
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.

This is Application #2 for Creating Champions in the workplace, part of a series of blog articles with the overall theme of “When your staff succeeds, so do you.”

Application #2 — Develop and Communicate Goals

“A man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder.”
-Thomas Carlyle-
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Thomas Carlyle, born in 1795, was a Scottish philosopher, satirical writer, essayist, historian and teacher. Considered one of the most important social commentators of his time, he presented many lectures during his lifetime with certain acclaim in the Victorian era.

If Mr. Carlyle was lecturing today, his same words from 200 years ago would still apply today. [The only exception would be that instead of saying “man”, he would replace it with “human”.]

“There is no analogy more powerful. A ship without a rudder would be lost forever. The same applies to humans.”

Where is your own personal rudder? Do you know why you are here on this planet? Do you know your purpose? What gives you meaning in your life? If you need a good vehicle to determine your life purpose, visit www.coachingandleadership.com and click on Free Self Coaching. Once you are in, on the side bar, click on Life Spiritual Purpose. Chances are this profound exercise will change your life – in a good way. You will finally be grounded in a spirit-ual purpose which will become your rudder. During one coaching session, I listened as one of my Executive Coaching Clients became totally awakened when she said, “Betska, oh my God. I just realized that my #1 reason for being is ‘To be a student and teacher of leading from the heart first.’” This client had been leading from her logical self for most of her life and was failing miserably as a leader who engages people. Today, she is on track, happier and far more successful because she is leading from her heart first.

Where is your organization’s rudder? Have you created your own department’s MVGV: Mission and Vision statements, a set of Goals and a list of corporate Values which every one needs to follow in order to accomplish the Vision? Most organizations have these foundational elements from an overall corporate perspective; however, what I am referring to here is an MVGV for your own department or unit. For example, the Finance Department should have their own MVGV because their mandate is different than the mandate of Human Resources. Of course, this MVGV, must be aligned with the corporate one.

Whether we are speaking about our own personal rudder or the organization’s rudder, as the old saying goes,’ how can we get anywhere if we don’t know where we are going?’

We live in an unpredictable world with changes happening at the blink of an eye.

So how can we plan if changes are rampant and unpredictable?

“The great successful men of the world have used their imagination…they think ahead and create their mental picture, and then go to work materializing that picture in all its details, filling in here, adding a little there, altering this a bit and that a bit, but steadily building – steadily building.”
– Robert Collier –

Just as Collier states, we must draw the plan and frequently make adjustments to account for demographic and lifestyle changes.

The key is to keep the plan simple. Otherwise we can get overwhelmed.

In my next blog article, we’ll be discussing what Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, has to say about leadership. This incredibly gifted leader is a role model for both men and women in leadership today.

Tune in next time where we will explore the 7 Quick Planning Steps for SHAPING YOUR FUTURE.

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Creating Champions
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.

Be a Leader – The Power of Example
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This blog article is a continuation of my last blog on the many hats of a Leader.

7) Trainer
A Leader is a trainer. Give all of your people the opportunity to learn. Some will need encouragement; others will take anything they can get.

8) Facilitator
A leader is a facilitator. You make things happen and keep everyone on track. You make the goals appear simple by guiding your people to achieve their goals.

9) Problem Solver
A Leader is a problem solver. It is your role to ensure that your people feel comfortable enough to approach you about a problem. Build a feeling of trust between you and each employee. You will be rewarded with a loyal and content staff.

10) Planner
A Leader is a planner – a strategic one. You must plan to shape the future of the organization. John Naisbitt writes, “The most reliable way to anticipate the future is by understanding the present.”

11) Coach
A Leader is a Coach! A Coach listens exceptionally well and asks a lot of questions. You invite your people to come up with their own answers. Leaders who attend CLI’s PCMK™ Coach Training programs learn very early on The Law of Belief, “What we think, we become.” 95-99% of our behaviours are governed by our subconscious mind. Therefore, every person in an organization should be vigilant about checking out their subconscious beliefs and turfing out their negative ones.

12) Guardian of the Bottom Line
Someone once said that hard work is the yeast that raises the dough. No doubt about it: it takes hard work and good leadership to bring in the sheaves of wheat. And, it takes even more work to keep costs down. There is no magic to guarding the bottom line:

• Understand what Business Ratios and Reports you need to monitor. 
• Follow the progress monthly. 
• Make sure you’re meeting your revenue and cost goals. 
• If not, find out why and fix it.

13) Innovator – this is a Bonus Hat!
A Leader is an innovator. There are six vision skills we must embrace if we are to successfully move into the 21st century. Picture a vehicle called the Vehicle for Progress where the front wheel skills are leadership, teamwork and aligned empowerment. The back wheel skills are risk, innovation and change management. While the front-wheel skills steer the organization, the back-wheel skills propel the organization forward. By taking risks and being innovating only then can we progress.

Wow! So many hats a Leader must wear. Which hat are you wearing today? Which ones could you wear tomorrow? Which ones do your people need you to wear in order to create a more successful future?

Betska, The Guru Coach™
Creating Champions
Sign up for CLI QuickTips™ and Blog Updates at:
Coaching and Leadership International Inc.